Thursday, May 31, 2007

Okay, so a little while ago I said that I'd like to blog about an epiphany I had while listening to Flylady's radio program a couple of weeks ago. I'd like to do that now, if you don't mind!! LOL

I don't normally listen to Flylady's radio show on Thursdays on WTR (, but with my recent decision to "pick up where I left off" with Flylady, I saw that they had just taped a show that day, and listened to most of it while I was on the computer fiddlin' around...So, anyways, towards the end, a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) called in & asked if it was ok to do stuff for herself. For real, she asked that. She was feeling guilty because her kids sleep in until 9a.m., and that's about the time she gets up, too. She went on to say that she feels like cleaning & watching the kiddos are her job, so what would she do if everything was always clean all the time?!?! This was a lightbulb moment for me, folks. Flylady said to stop feeling guilty for getting up when the babies get up (all children are referred to as "babies" by Flylady), then she said that this gal needed to sit down & figure out what it is she really ENJOYS doing, something just for herself. Then she "knited her with the Flylady Feather Duster" & told her she was free from all guilt for sleeping when her babies slept, and to have permission for Mommy time...Here's my "A-ha!" moment...I really think that's what keeps me from "flying" consistently. I start feeling GUILTY for choosing & the priveledge of being a SAHM, and can end up feeling like, "Well, if I don't have 'stuff' hanging over me, like cleaning the house, doing laundry in ginormous loads to catch up, etc... then I am useless." I don't know if that adequately sums up what I really mean. I guess it's kinda like I keep the messes around me so I can look around and feel useful because I'm needed to clean up the mess...and this turns into a horrible cycle because then I let things get back to the way they were so I can feel useful again...If I could relay to you that feeling, I would, because then maybe those sentences up there would make sense. That feeling of not feeling worthy enough of being a SAHM, and even though you know a few of your friends would stay home, too, if they could, they would...I don't know, there's just a guilt trip going on here. Like, I feel guilty for being able to stay home, or something. Maybe that's the best way to put it. I feel SO blessed, and know it's a blessing to be able to do what I do.

Now, I am not a society hater. I don't want anyone to think that I blame everything on "society" or "women's lib" or anything. But, it's probably going to sound like that!! LOL

We're taught that women can be anything they long as it's generating a paycheck & you can call it a "career." I know that secular society look down their noses at women who stay home & write us off as "brainless," "uninteresting," etc... And, on the flipside, diehard SAHM's can come off as self-righteous & "spare the rod" types...But why?!?! Where did this division come from? We all have a different calling. We are all to be doing different things, so why is there this animosity?!?! Argh!!!!!! Did anyone watch all those shows Oprah did about WOHM's vs. SAHM's?!?! I really wish that I could've spoken up & said, "Why is there a 'right' side or a 'wrong' side? Some of us are called to stay home with our children, and some to work. They're both missionfields, people!! Our very footsteps are directed by the Lord no matter what our "occupation" or lack there of (in a 'traditional' sense of the word...being a SAHM IS an occupation, imo). Anyways, there are people that SAHM's can witness/touch/show love to that maybe a WOHM can't, and likewise. We are put in these places, ladies, by the King of Kings Himself.

SO, I realize that there isn't really a controversy about this right now, but my feelings of guilt for being a SAHM is what led to this huge deep thought process!! LOL Why should I feel guilt when it's the Lord's leading for me to be where I am? And that goes for all of us. I know that there's a "guilt trip" on the "flipside" (the guilt WOHM's tend to experience for not being with their babies 24/7), too, and again I say, "Why the guilt when your footsteps are being led by the King of Kings?"

There is a right & wrong side to this, though. The wrong thing is disobedience in not going where the Lord wants you to go, and the right is always following His lead, wherever that may mean for you. We're not all called to be school teachers. We're not all called to be CEO's of major corporations. So, why have we decided that all women should work in corporate America, or on the flipside, that all women should stay home & clean their house?!?! LOL Ya'll just follow where you're being led by the Lord!! He's the MOST AWESOME LEADER!! :)

Now that I've said all that, I do want to share a little bit more about my own personal struggle right now. We're really starting to feel a pinch in the financial belt. Just too much debt!! Argh!! We've come a long way, though, and since doing that whole "The Blessed Life" small groups, we've really been faithful tithers, and we can totally see God's blessings for us over the last year + since we've done so...But now it's time to really take our debt by the proverbial horns, and knock it out!! And, to do this, we've realized that we do need a little more income. So, here's the plan...

Remember all that scrapbooking stuff I was going to do? I don't remember if I've shared it here or not. Anyways, I'd like to start doing in-home parties/demonstrations & selling product & my own creations. Some are really intimidated with all that scrapbooking stuff & tools, so I'd like to help get rid of some of the stress, or just have things that people can buy (albums, frames, misc. home decor, etc...) This whole scrapbooking thing is really moving into the home decor genre, too, and it's really awesome; a part of that whole altered art thing.

So, that's what I'm planning on doing. There's a scrapbooking home show company called "Memory Works" & they have a VERY small start up fee, and they provide all the big names in the scrapbooking world. So, for the product part of my shows there'll be that. They have a very easy contract, too, that will allow me to sell my own creations at these parties (albums, special-order albums, and all that other stuff I've already mentioned). Anyways, that just combines 2 of my needs right now...Income & a creative outlet!! :)

So, prayers, please? I'd like to even advertise in the newspaper eventually. For now, though, I'm thinking of starting relatively 1-2 shows a week for starters. This would really help with our debt, and we'd be tithing more!! :) We'd love to really start giving "over & above" offerings, too.

Okay, better get a move on, I think I've unloaded enough for today!! LOL

Oh, I did forget to mention little Miss Abbey May & her very first awards ceremony last night!! Last night was the "Awana Awards Banquet." It was actually a cookout, and very good. She was so stinking cute!! She got her little things, and Miss Lori (her teacher) gave all the kids a little bag of gardening stuff, like seeds & a "dirt digger"!! LOL Very cute...and her class sang a was just precious. Steve got it all on video!! Of course!! My pictures didn't turn out very well, though. But I'll share one of the best ones...

Love you all!!


Bobbie413 said...

Good for you, I love that you able to be home and realize what a blessing it is. Your new endeavor sounds good could make some pre-assembled pages that just have places for ladies to add their photos and journaling.

Kelley said...

Okay, wish I would have heard that one last week. I've had a struggle with this for a few weeks. I hang out with a lot of SAHM's, so that's not's the financial part of it all. So thank you so much for sharing that. You know just where to speak to me girlie!!!!!

Good luck on the new business. That sounds like a lot of fun! You'll have to take pictures of what you do!

Lots of Love!

Sara said...

Awwww...adorable picture! Thanks for sharing that.

I think that some people do forget that being a SAHM is just as hard, if not harder than being a working Mom. I think kudos go to both and the Flylady is very correct in saying you shouldn't feel guilty for doing stuff for you too! SAHM or not, you don't have to have the house spotless every single day by 5pm! That's crazy! Good luck on the Memory Works endeavor. I think it's great and I really hope it works out for you!!!

Love ya!