Changing Normal

I just got word yesterday evening that my friend (I might've mentioned her earlier) is miscarrying a surprise & very wanted baby...My heart aches for her.

That, and reading Jodi's blog, brought this song to mind, and heart.

Like I commented on her blog, it's funny what God uses to touch, heal, speak, love, move us. When I first heard this song, I was at a pretty dark place after our 1st miscarriage...I was mad at God. He's bigger!! And, He's compassionate... He is just awesome...Anyways, I hope this song blesses you like it did me, and if you're not at that place to hear & let the message wash over you, that's okay, I'm not posting it to be "holier than thou" or insensitive to wherever you are...It was just laid on my heart to share...



When Steve & I started attending COTC (that's our church) we took a "Finding Your Spiritual Gifts" small group study...and I learned a lot!! Great study!! I'll have to find the "official" name of it to pass on to you all...ANYWAYS, through that study, I "found out" that one of my top 3 strongest gifts is faith...And I have to tell you, that's no lie!! Through everything I've experienced, the good, the bad & the ugly, I've never doubted that God is who He says He is, and that Jesus is always there for me, that He loves me... Not that I've always understood the depth of His love & grace (I don't think anyone can really comprehend that this side of heaven), but I've never doubted Him...

But sometimes knowing who God is, and that He is who He says He is can be confusing in the midst of heartache & despair...Because knowing He is and was and is to come, has the power of life everlasting, and knowing that He loves us so much, it just doesn't jive with the heartache & despair...I forget that He isn't heartache & despair, but the enemy is...Sometimes I mix up who to blame, who is really responsible for the heartache. I don't understand why God lets him, but I know heartache isn't of God...I know He grieves with us...He cries with us...He ministers to us any way He can (and that's a lot!! Thank you, Holy Spirit, for working through an animated movie about Joseph!!).

I've still got a TON to learn, a ton to work through here, and like my Dad says, the more I read the Bible, the more I realize I don't know diddley squat!! LOL :) But take this little grain of rice (actually smaller than that) that I do know, in the Spirit in which it was meant...Just to love ya, girlies!! :)