Changing Normal

I know, I know, it's been virtually forever!! :) I AM still alive, and, yes, STILL PREGNANT!! LOL :) I feel as though I've been pregnant forever...but the end is drawing near...and I'm getting a little nervous...

I've got a very yucky cold right now, that has me not feeling very good all over...I'm wondering, though, if it isn't more allergies than a cold...No fever or anything, but I feel achy & lots of sinus pressure...I know you all aren't my dr. so I'll stop giving you my symptoms!! LOL :) Just not a great week for me...

Anyways...I guess I didn't get here to share with you all about my wonderful Emmaus experience, huh? There are some things I just can't share with you (and even if I told you about it, I don't think you'd get the deepness of the experience) plus, if you ever go on an Emmaus walk yourself, I don't want to set your expectations up...We're all on different areas of our walk with Jesus, and what my experience meant to me might not necessarily be what you should/would experience, ya know? SO, I will just start by saying THANK YOU for your emails/cards, they were so sweet & unexpected, and thank you for your prayers...It was a truly humbling, yet very empowering experience for me...

I have to say, my 'tude probably wasn't what it should've been on Thursday night, because I was trying not to anticipate, but I hate not knowing some sort of schedule. That was a hard one for me, and not knowing what time it was & stuff...I never realized what a big time-freak I am...

I've shared a little bit with Missy & Jodi, that looking back over the past year, I can see where God's been gently and sweetly "wooing" me with His grace. Last year (about exactly that, now) we went to Women of Faith (maybe you remember?) and the theme of the Conference was "Infinite Grace." I can't begin to tell you some of the barriers I had up that he started chiseling away at during that pre-conference. Things that I needed to let go, and just realize that God loves me, and sometimes He takes away the things we want so badly out of His grace & mercy, not His anger...And, even broadening my perceptions a little bit about the people I love & their treatment of me. Their actions/reactions aren't always about me & our relationship with each other, but can stem from their previous relationships & their perceptions of themselves...Just like I do!! LOL It just gets trickier with the people we put on pedestals...

Even getting ready for the Women's Retreat last fall, where I spoke about low self-esteem, insecurities, anger, all of that was just a part of the journey of learning more about His grace & love. It forced me, in ways, to look at some things from my journey-my disappointments, my circumstances-and see where I had thought it was God's anger & disappointment in me, but was really His love & grace & mercy for me...

ANYWAYS, a great weekend, where I FELT loved & accepted; FELT His grace & mercy wash over me; and ate VERY WELL!! LOL :) These people don't make you go hungery, that's for sure!! LOL:)

Moving on...Missy shared about Easter...it was pretty much the same with us, just not so many people @ Mom & Dad's house :) We went to church (Steve cooked a TON of bacon for our Sonrise service...) we ate breakfast at church, I taught my last Sunday School class, and was surprised with Mom, Dad, Chelle, & Katie walked through the door!! :) I thought they were going to the Vineyard (which is their church, now, I think, officially). We left & went to Mom & Dad's house, then to Grandma's, then BACK to Mom & Dad's...Oh, and I got addicted to "green stuff" at Grandma's house, btw...Aunt Diane made it, and since I've talked with my dietician, it's pretty much the best stuff I can have right now!! LOL (more on the dietician in a moment). I have CRAVED that stuff...Oh, and it was so great to see Eddie there!! :) I hope he didn't see the shocked look on my face when we were standing on the porch & I was taking inventory of who all was there!! LOL :) That was just so cool, and I hope it was the beginning of many more family things he comes to...OH, and I loved observing Jimmie with the girls!! LOL :) He was so sweet!! The first thing he said to Steve & I was, "I have seen more naked girls in the past week than I have in my whole life!" He was doing an AWESOME job!! :) I guess it was just neat to see him in a different role than Uncle...And, Jodi, as Missy said, I don't think anyone was really worried about how you'd do!! :) I just kept thinking, "Those girls have no idea how blessed they are..."

Okay, I mentioned the dietician...Is anyone REALLY surprised that I flunked the 3-hour glucose test, after having G-diabetes before? I didn't think so...Anyways, I had the test last week, and this past Tuesday we had another ultrasound & my consult with the dietician. They were concerned about my fasting numbers, because those are the least affected by diet, but after a few days of me really being on a good diabetic diet, that's even starting to go down. I have to check my sugar levels 4x's a day, and go back in 2 weeks to see them, and if they're not happy with my fasting numbers, I'll be put on a pill that's safe to take while pregnant...they try pill first, then insulin (PTL!! That was NOT the case 4 years ago when I had this with Abbey, but everything was diet-controlled then). So, we'll see what my body does... What'shisname (poor baby boy doesn't really have a name in stone, yet) was flashing us with the goods during the ultrasound, and there was NO mistaking that he is ALL BOY and that the other ultrasound lady was right!! LOL :) We're having a hard time deciding on a name...Mainly because we're not both around each other for long to have a good discussion about it...But tax season's almost over!! YAHOO!! :)

Oh, and I said I was starting to get nervous...there is just SO MUCH to do around here, and I can't do it by myself...And, unfortunately, it's not just his room, it's the WHOLE HOUSE, including our bedroom...I'm getting nervous about having everything ready & company ready (not that I expect the same traffic this time as with Abbey, but there will still be visitors, ya know), and KEEPING it that way...Flylady's helping, but my energy level is nill...

Okay, I'd better go...It's about time to check my sugar again...It was pretty good this morning...Actually, the lowest fasting number I've had so far...

Love you all & will try to catch up as fast as I can!! :)